Creepy MF

Date’s Nickname: Creepy MF (MF = motha f*cker… in case you didn’t know)

Age: 28

Occupation: Contract Work

How we met: Tinder, unfortunately.

Where we went: His apartment pool

What I ate: Nothing

Total Cost Estimate: $0

Prior Expectations: The same day I matched with Creepy MF is the same day I went on this “date.” He invited me to a pool party at his apartment pool for Memorial Day Weekend. Honestly, I’m sketched out by going to a strangers’ apartment pool but figured it would be an interesting story. Plus, for all you haters… it’s a free activity.

Date Diary: I drove to Creepy MF’s apartment on ONE stipulation. For no reason was I going to enter his apartment. Creepy MF met me in the garage of his apartment building. First Thoughts: DOES NOT LOOK LIKE HIS PROFILE PICTURE. He’s older and balder. No initial attraction. Let’s be real, no attraction at all. However, since I’m already here… I’ll hangout and at least get to know him. First thing Creepy MF does is walk me straight to his apartment… says he needs a drink refill. Creepy MF opens his apartment door, and I stand in the entrance of the door and the hallway. (I’M NOT CLOSING THIS DOOR) Creepy MF offers me a drink, which I decline. My response is, “No, thank you. I’ll just wait out here.” I immediately close the door and wait in the hallway. 20 seconds later, Creepy MF leads me to the pool.

There is no initial attraction, so I’m less ashamed of my bikini body (it’s a girl thing). If I was actually into Creepy MF, I would not want to be in a bikini on our first “date.” (I keep putting date in quotations because clearly this is not a date) Creepy MF introduces me to a couple of his friends before we hop in the pool. For the most part, he seems normal. Creepy MF just moved into this apartment building and is making new friends. Creepy MF tells me about his struggles meeting people. He says when he goes out people tend to stay with their group. I agree with Creepy MF. Most people don’t mingle with strangers anymore. (I can barely get a stranger to ask me out in person, but I get a lot strangers asking me out via text.) I can relate to Creepy MF and end up telling him that I don’t normally agree to meet strange men at their apartment pool. I actually tell him that I’ve been texting my roommate to let her know where I am (that wasn’t true, but I probably should have done that).

After an hour and a half of hanging with Creepy MF, I’m ready to go. Creepy MF offers to walk me out. Where does Creepy MF actually walk me to? His apartment. Creepy MF wants to “drop something off” before walking me to the garage. Replay first encounter. He opens the door, and I leave the door open. I’m sorry, but I’m in no way comfortable entering your apartment. Creepy MF can take a hint. As soon as he puts his stuff down, he turns around and walks me to my car. We arrive at my car, and Creepy MF asks what I’m doing later on. I tell him that I made tentative plans to go out with some friends. His response, “Great, I think I’m going out too. I’ll let you know where we go.” We hug, and I get into my car.

Takeaways: Creepy MF wasn’t creepy until that night… I get a couple of messages from Creppy MF notifying me of his whereabouts. I respond with a “Sorry, we ended up not going out tonight.” Then the following text message conversation occurs. creepy guy

NO MEANS NO. When did “no” turn into “yes, I would like to have sex with you?” Is there anything consensual about these text messages??? The night before Creepy MF asked me to meet him… one of my previous dates asked me to meet him at 12:30 am for drinks. I didn’t go becasue I assume any man that asks to grab drinks at 12:30 am just wants to hook up. Is that a wrong assumption? If my goal was to have sex… it wouldn’t be with a creepy, bald, old MF. It would be with JJ Watt. (hey JJ, if you ever read this… I would like to take you on a date.) Before Creepy MF sent me those text messages, I thought differently about him. As soon as he sent me the final “Do you wanna meet up?” text message… I blocked his number.

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