Date Diagnosis – Week One

I’m alive. I went on 8 dates in 7 days. Here’s a list of things I learned.

1.) It’s easier than I thought it would be to actually go on a date every night. If you’re really open minded about dating then it would not be hard to find dates. Because of this I’ve learned I need to be more picky on these apps.

2.) A date doesn’t have to involve food, but it usually does. I originally assumed that drinks/coffee is not a date because it’s doesn’t involve food. What’s funny is that the two dates I went on that didn’t involve dinner/brunch are the ones where the guys ended up kissing me. It makes me think that those are the guys that are looking to “hook up” rather than be in a relationship. Actually all the dates that involved a sit down meal are the ones where the guy didn’t try anything. For this reason, I’m removing the rule about a date having to involve food for it to count. My experiment = My rules

3.) Guys are not good at “dating” either. I’ll explain to you my Saturday night situation. After my two dates on Saturday, I made plans to go out. I wanted to meet guys in person to see if I could initiate a date through a personal interaction. We were out at Dean’s downtown when I noticed a group of attractive guys sitting together. I ask them if they are a bachelor party (it’s my go to conversation starter when I see a group of men out at bars). They decline and don’t keep up the conversation. I clearly went out of my way to talk to you. Why? Because I want to talk, duh. Five minutes later I notice one of the guys swiping on Tinder. So I start watching him. His friend notices and taps him on the shoulder. As soon as he turns around, I say “if you see me, swipe right.” Finally, that broke the ice and we start a conversation. This boy is very cute, and we are flirting. He ends up leaving the bar to go with his friends and doesn’t ask me for my number or anything. I LITERALLY DID ALL THE WORK FOR YOU. The only thing he had to do was ask for my number. It’s like guys are more likely to ask you out over text because it’s safe. It’s safer to be rejected by someone you can’t see, rather than someone right in front of you. Maybe I’m generalizing all men, but I’m getting so many strangers asking me out through the phone and no strangers that ask me out in person (actually, that did happen once. Prior to No Pay May).

4.) In most situations, I let the man lead. Most of the men thus far have initiated the date, so I let them lead. If I ask someone to hangout, I would come up with a plan, so I expect them to do the same. I’m learning how different men approach dating, but I’m also learning that I’m a little too focused on the date instead of the guy. I should do what I feel, but I feel myself holding back because I’m letting them lead everything. Gambling with my love life.

Dating App Update: If you’re actually looking to meet up with people, Tinder is where it’s at. Statistically more people have and use Tinder. I deleted Okay Cupid because it’s too overwhelming. Bumble is not exciting and nothing comes of that app. Coffee and Bagel is by far my favorite. Happn and The Grade just stay downloaded on my phone. I rarely open them.

News: Operation: No Pay May has inspired some of my friends (both guys and girls) to put themselves out there. They too are going on “dates.” I’ve asked some of them to share their stories through guest posts. Every week I’ll be posting a guest blog to add different opinions and experiences to this experiment.